It's late at night, and I'm just kind of killing time so I decided to write in this blog of mine. It made me wonder why exactly I have this blog. I was never big on posting my thoughts on the internet for the entire world to see. I rememer when livejournal was popular. I never got a livejournal. It seemed like a waste of everything to me. And I in no way ever wanted all of my thoughts, feelings, emotions, and the like posted online for the entire world to see, criticize, scrutinize, and the like. Jess has a blog to keep the world updated on her life. Leah posts her poetry. I'm not sure what Daniel's is for, and Philip talks about politics and computers. I'm not a poet, I could care less about computers and politics, and I don't have any significant events in my lfie that I need to update on this blog. Especially not any that aren't already on myspace or facebook.
However, I might as well type something since I already started this pointless post. School is ending, and these past two weeks have just been a whirlwhind of events and changes and decisions and driving. Life is kind of spiraling out of control. And anywhere that I could go to unwind is also part of the spiral. I'm torn between people and worlds and situations. There's been so many decisions, choices, factors that affect my life that I'm not sure I realize at this moment. Things just all happened so fast that I never stopped to think, and before I knew it everything was turned upside down. And, adding finals week on top of that, it's been hectic. I think on Friday everything will settle down. I'll be back at home, and life will just kind of pause.
Speaking of home, I never realized how much I thought of college as home until I came home on Monday. I stepped out of my car and looked at campus, and just realized how content I felt inside. I love this campus. It's home. I'm sure Leah could say that more poetically, and Daniel could write it more grammatically complex, and Jess would know how to make it interesting. But I expect that you, nonexistent reader, know the feeling I am talking about. And at this point I am honestly just rambling because I'm tired and I'm putting off sleeping, because tomorrow is kind of a busy day, with a lot of stuff to do and more driving. As much as I want tomorrow to come, I also just don't want today, and this feeling of being at college with all my finals done and the world at peace to end. I want to stay right here, content and calm, with nothing to do but sit on my bed with my computer in front of me, with nothing to do.
Well, I think that's all I have to say today. I'll probably post in a few days about how much I love Christmas, since I'm playing piano for a Christmas Pageant, and then I'll really be in the Christmas mood. I love Christmas.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Group Work
I hate group work.
For one thing, because then my grade depends on other people, and how am I supposed to know if they care about their grade as much as I do?
However, the worst thing about group assignments is when you're in a class where you really don't know anyone and don't have any friends, and the teacher just lets you choose groups. Everyone starts pairing off with their friends and you kind of sit there awkwardly hoping that someone will ask you to join their group or will realize that you don't have a group. After about 8 minutes I eventually summoned the courage to ask the girl in front of me if I could be in their group.
Another problem with group assignments is trying to get everything together outside of class. We make a deadline for everybody to submit their part of the paper in. I only have two of the four papers. The next morning one girl emails late and says she'll send it later, the other girl doens't even respond for a few more hours, only to say that she'll have it in soon.
I lost my temper and got tired of checking my email, so I acted without thinking, as I do frequently, and sent them what I had done and told them to finish it between themselves. One girl seemed to care less, the other seemed a little peeved. Well, I was peeved that I had to wait for dallas papers. Maybe I didn't handle it the best way, but maybe that was a stupid situation for anyone to ever be in.
Group work is stupid. Sersiously, teachers? All you're doing is making students feel horrible. When I am a teacher, I will never force students into group work. It's not fair to the kids that care more about their grades than others and it's not fair to the kids who are shy and don't really have any friends. It just makes them feel worse about their inability to make tons of friends. And they sit in their desk holding back tears as the few acquaintances they have don't mention their name and as everybody pairs off with their friends and they realize how alone they feel in this class.
I hate group work.
For one thing, because then my grade depends on other people, and how am I supposed to know if they care about their grade as much as I do?
However, the worst thing about group assignments is when you're in a class where you really don't know anyone and don't have any friends, and the teacher just lets you choose groups. Everyone starts pairing off with their friends and you kind of sit there awkwardly hoping that someone will ask you to join their group or will realize that you don't have a group. After about 8 minutes I eventually summoned the courage to ask the girl in front of me if I could be in their group.
Another problem with group assignments is trying to get everything together outside of class. We make a deadline for everybody to submit their part of the paper in. I only have two of the four papers. The next morning one girl emails late and says she'll send it later, the other girl doens't even respond for a few more hours, only to say that she'll have it in soon.
I lost my temper and got tired of checking my email, so I acted without thinking, as I do frequently, and sent them what I had done and told them to finish it between themselves. One girl seemed to care less, the other seemed a little peeved. Well, I was peeved that I had to wait for dallas papers. Maybe I didn't handle it the best way, but maybe that was a stupid situation for anyone to ever be in.
Group work is stupid. Sersiously, teachers? All you're doing is making students feel horrible. When I am a teacher, I will never force students into group work. It's not fair to the kids that care more about their grades than others and it's not fair to the kids who are shy and don't really have any friends. It just makes them feel worse about their inability to make tons of friends. And they sit in their desk holding back tears as the few acquaintances they have don't mention their name and as everybody pairs off with their friends and they realize how alone they feel in this class.
I hate group work.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Bad ideas
It's incredibly stupid to do something ridiculous just to prove that you're not too scared and that you're "brave" enough, especially if no one is accusing you of being chicken. Also especially if it happens to be related to one of your phobias.
We decided to spend a great day at the beach today. After a few hours of this and that, Mary and I decided to dig a hole big enough for someone to crouch in, which evolved into a tunnel. Mary decided she would crawl through the tunnel when it was complete. So, we had a tunnel, about two feet long, with a foot of sand or so above it, and maybe two or three feet in diameter. But the unsteadiness of the tunnel, combined with the fact that it was still collapsing and a bit too small to fit through for Mary (who is much smaller than me) made her decide it wasn't such a great idea. So, I jumped right up to the idea.
My plan was that I'd go through headfirst with my arms by my sides and use my feet to push off the hole of the wall and force myself through with maybe two pushes. The first push went fine, and I ended with my head through to the other side and my arms pinned against me. I went to push the second time, but I wasn't far enough to really push off the other sand wall. Then the tunnel collapsed, pinning me down.
It wasn't heavy, I just couldn't move my arms becuase of the awkwardness fo the position I was in, so I semi-calmly asked my friends to come help me, since the sand covered me from neck to knees. Leah, Mary, Judy, and Daniel rushed to the rescue, but their movement caused the sand to fall more and heavier, causing me to show the fear I'd been hiding. I couldn't see or feel them digging, even though I knew that they were. Then the sand settled a third time with their movement so close to the tunnel, and I began screaming at the top of my lungs. I knew I wasn't going to die, but I still was completely terrified by being trapped with no way to move my arms, and the sand moving closer and closer to my face. Suddenly Daniel appeared in my line of sight, calming me down enough to ask him to help, to which he responded he already was. He reached through the sand, gripped below my shoulders, and slowly began lifting my upper body up thorough the sand. After a few inches I was up enough to force my arms forward and prop myself up on my elbows, causing all panic to subside and more visibility. Mary, on my left, was a little scared looking, Judy was laughing and Leah was, well, her face was in her arms and she was either laughing, crying, or hyperventilating. It turned out to be an odd combination of the three. She apparently just had a panic attack when the tunnel "collapsed" and rushed to my side, forgetting to breathe until I was safe, and then she could freak out.
It was a wonderful day.
We decided to spend a great day at the beach today. After a few hours of this and that, Mary and I decided to dig a hole big enough for someone to crouch in, which evolved into a tunnel. Mary decided she would crawl through the tunnel when it was complete. So, we had a tunnel, about two feet long, with a foot of sand or so above it, and maybe two or three feet in diameter. But the unsteadiness of the tunnel, combined with the fact that it was still collapsing and a bit too small to fit through for Mary (who is much smaller than me) made her decide it wasn't such a great idea. So, I jumped right up to the idea.
My plan was that I'd go through headfirst with my arms by my sides and use my feet to push off the hole of the wall and force myself through with maybe two pushes. The first push went fine, and I ended with my head through to the other side and my arms pinned against me. I went to push the second time, but I wasn't far enough to really push off the other sand wall. Then the tunnel collapsed, pinning me down.
It wasn't heavy, I just couldn't move my arms becuase of the awkwardness fo the position I was in, so I semi-calmly asked my friends to come help me, since the sand covered me from neck to knees. Leah, Mary, Judy, and Daniel rushed to the rescue, but their movement caused the sand to fall more and heavier, causing me to show the fear I'd been hiding. I couldn't see or feel them digging, even though I knew that they were. Then the sand settled a third time with their movement so close to the tunnel, and I began screaming at the top of my lungs. I knew I wasn't going to die, but I still was completely terrified by being trapped with no way to move my arms, and the sand moving closer and closer to my face. Suddenly Daniel appeared in my line of sight, calming me down enough to ask him to help, to which he responded he already was. He reached through the sand, gripped below my shoulders, and slowly began lifting my upper body up thorough the sand. After a few inches I was up enough to force my arms forward and prop myself up on my elbows, causing all panic to subside and more visibility. Mary, on my left, was a little scared looking, Judy was laughing and Leah was, well, her face was in her arms and she was either laughing, crying, or hyperventilating. It turned out to be an odd combination of the three. She apparently just had a panic attack when the tunnel "collapsed" and rushed to my side, forgetting to breathe until I was safe, and then she could freak out.
It was a wonderful day.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Keyboards
The kind that resemble pianos, not the kind that I'm typing on.
I want to buy a keyboard. It's kind of been something that's been on the back of my mind for a few years now. I've been playing piano since I was 4 (althought I don't think anythign in the first 5 years really could count as "playing.") Well, in later years I've done alot with piano, like teach, accompany choirs, play in various praise teams, and accompany theater productions. Usually I have to depend on somebody else having equipment. Also, when I'm away at college I can never practice, becuase my piano is at home. Although I do have a keyboard at home. It's some Casio model with no sustain pedal, no waited keys, maybe 100 sounds, 50 rhythms, and 20 jukebox songs. If it had a sustain pedal MAYBE I would consider bringing it to college, but without one, alot of songs, especially praise and worship, sounds very choppy. Not to even mention sound quality or lack of significant lower octaves.
Some of my friends want to start a band, with me on keyboard and harmony vocals. However, none of us own keyboards. This is a perfect situation of why I would want a keyboard. (I could've also probably used one for me and Leah in the past year when we break out into song in my room.) Talking to a friend who worked at Sam Ash for a year or so, I know that I want a Yamaha (for better sound quality.) I also want weighted keys (dynamic contrast,) which adds to the price. And for the record, no keyboards are made without the adapter for sustain pedal nowadays, so that won't even be an issue.
I tried to explore my options on the internet, but it's just a little overwhelming. I have no idea how people who review computers all the time do it. There's just so much information put in the best advertising twist to confuse poor naive buyers. If anyone has any great suggestions, I'm open to hear them. Either way, I'll talk to my friend some more and then actually head out to a music store to see the options for myself.
I want to buy a keyboard. It's kind of been something that's been on the back of my mind for a few years now. I've been playing piano since I was 4 (althought I don't think anythign in the first 5 years really could count as "playing.") Well, in later years I've done alot with piano, like teach, accompany choirs, play in various praise teams, and accompany theater productions. Usually I have to depend on somebody else having equipment. Also, when I'm away at college I can never practice, becuase my piano is at home. Although I do have a keyboard at home. It's some Casio model with no sustain pedal, no waited keys, maybe 100 sounds, 50 rhythms, and 20 jukebox songs. If it had a sustain pedal MAYBE I would consider bringing it to college, but without one, alot of songs, especially praise and worship, sounds very choppy. Not to even mention sound quality or lack of significant lower octaves.
Some of my friends want to start a band, with me on keyboard and harmony vocals. However, none of us own keyboards. This is a perfect situation of why I would want a keyboard. (I could've also probably used one for me and Leah in the past year when we break out into song in my room.) Talking to a friend who worked at Sam Ash for a year or so, I know that I want a Yamaha (for better sound quality.) I also want weighted keys (dynamic contrast,) which adds to the price. And for the record, no keyboards are made without the adapter for sustain pedal nowadays, so that won't even be an issue.
I tried to explore my options on the internet, but it's just a little overwhelming. I have no idea how people who review computers all the time do it. There's just so much information put in the best advertising twist to confuse poor naive buyers. If anyone has any great suggestions, I'm open to hear them. Either way, I'll talk to my friend some more and then actually head out to a music store to see the options for myself.
Blogging
I really still don't know the purpose of a blog, or why I would post anything on one. I don't have much to say to people over the internet outside of usual conversation. Leah uses hers for poems, but I'm not a poet. Also, I do not have any very strong political ideas I need to share, or any amazing writing skills. So why I am back at my blog?
I guess I don't want to let this blog go to waste, for one. I think if all I ever did on this was write chapter summaries for EME2040, then I pretty much wasted a small part of the internet. Not that it's in any way significant, but okay.
So if you happen to stumble upon this blog (probably by a typo in the address bar) and you have inspiration for me, I'd be much obliged.
I guess I don't want to let this blog go to waste, for one. I think if all I ever did on this was write chapter summaries for EME2040, then I pretty much wasted a small part of the internet. Not that it's in any way significant, but okay.
So if you happen to stumble upon this blog (probably by a typo in the address bar) and you have inspiration for me, I'd be much obliged.
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