Deja Vu.

This morning was the first day the full staff was back again at the pool. As Dustin and I walked to the gate to the pool where Tracey and Kevin stood, waiting for Cindy to arrive and unlock it, Dustin said, "Oh, wow, this feels just like last summer." I smiled. I understood exactly how he felt, because I felt that way last week. My first few days waking up early and getting things together I kept reminding myself that it wasn't last year, I wasn't going to the YMCA to work out, or that I wasn't going to go and spend the day with residents. It was just cleaning. Even as I walked toward Cindy's office after clocking in, I felt as though no time had passed since last summer, as if the entire year of school hadn't ever really happened.

It's weird how time does these things. I can come home for breaks and it feels like a break. I can drive back to college and know that it's a new school year. But something about the summertime leaves me feeling like I never left the last summer. Summers are their own continuous time line, separated from the rest of your life.

A few days ago, Dustin and I were talking about music on the way to the store, about how some songs always bring up certain memories. For example, the song "The Scientist" by Coldplay always makes me think of Jeff, although this wasn't exactly what he meant. He was, again, talking about the summer, and how different songs always felt like the summer. For me, it was mostly the songs that were on the radio at the pool all of the time. "Walking in Memphis" and "Drops of Jupiter" are two such examples. These songs will always make me feel like I'm both in the summertime and working as a Lifegaurd at the Duvall Home. Dustin named a few songs. Also country. I guess neither of us listen to country unless we're at home, and usually we aren't at home except in the summer.

I guess Christmas is the same way, but I don't think about it right now. Right now I just think about how as I'm up, early in the morning while the sun is just rising and the temperature is perfect, it feels like so many summers past. I'm reminded of being small and Mom packing up all up to go to the springs. I remember riding my bike all middle school to the library every week to read through the entire Animorphs series. I remember sleeping too much and spending days on the computer, until VBS or camp interrupted this monotonous cycle. I remember the more recent, difficult summers where I could drive, where friends went through difficult times, and where I spent more time away from home with my first job as a camp counselor, where camp itself is another life within the summer. And I remember my summers at Duvall. Last year, I was so busy with lifegaurding and playing piano that time just flew by.

On my last blog, Jess asked why she and I lose contact over the summer. It's not just her with whom I lose contact; it's the entire world. Over the summers, I'm 8 again, I'm 12, I'm 16, I'm a young girl again at her house, where life is more about playing with her brother and bothering her older sister, where days are spent in the sun and school isn't on anyone's mind, and where the focus of each day is to figure out how to have the most fun. I still love all of my friends dearly, it's just so hard in this other world to remember that somewhere else, to somebody else, I'm a twenty year old college girl with friends whom I love and miss who feel the same way. It's difficult to keep in contact when here, I feel like I've stepped out of my usual life into a completely different life that runs on a timeline seperate than the rest of the world.

I could go on more, and elaborate on the different summers and the emotions and memories associated with each, about the places I went, the people I met, and the experiences from which I learned. But I realize that no matter how many words I type, I don't have the gift to give justice to the memories that are slowly becoming dimmer in my mind. As such, I'll leave you to think back on your summers, of the experiences and memories you will always associate with summer, and hope that this summer will be a memorable one.