World of Warcraft.

Freedom. The power to determine action without restraint, the absence of or release from ties, obligations, etc.

This blog has been in my head for about a year now, ever since I began playing Wow. It's been altering slowly over time: an explanation of how the game is so much cooler than I thought when I made fun of those who played it, an analysis of the in-game economy and its reflection on a real economy and society, a justification of my playing as not an addiction, a regretful paragraph on the time I lost.

World of Warcraft is an addiction. My friends told me it was, and I still justified my playing, and I still don't necessarily regret that I ever played consistently. The problem, however, is the priority of playing. For a good seven months, Wow was the top priority in my life. I rushed back from class to sign in. I turned down requests to leave my dorm just to stay sitting at my desk, safe in a world of pixels. I almost lost my real, true friends to pixels with voices.

See, I wonder how different Wow is from a real addiction. Wow doesn't affect your mindset, like drugs, but drugs don't have the influence of real people. Drugs aren't actual human beings, somewhere else in the world, people that can relate to how you feel about the game, that can understand why you play, that can listen to you and talk to you and be your friend all from the comfort and safety of your desk, without requiring you to change out of your pajamas or risk anything real. It's a scary, scary spiral. And it's different than other games, games that pause when you leave. The Wow world continues without me while I am away, but I forgot that the real world, real people, do too. And then, after only five months of playing, you wonder why you've spend 52 days, 24 hour days, logged into your computer. Why you were so ready to turn down your friends and family, and how you can make empty promises to do better later while you sit glued to your screen.

And little by little, I'm breaking free. I've gone from constantly playing to signing on only for raids, and now I'm even willing to skip raids when friends invite me out for plans. As a result, my guild, my Wow friends, the people who rely on me to log on Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday from 9-12 pm, those people are beginning to get frustrated with me, are beginning to get tired of me, and are thinking of replacing me. I might not have a spot to raid anymore if I keep up this hanging-out-with-friends business.

And, for the first time in a year, I don't really mind.