What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?

Today, I had a terrible headache. I was really tired from lack of sleep or caffeine or something. Driving to Leah's for dinner was awful; it was just the perfect time of day combined with the perfect placement of the sun in the sky (since it moves to the north and south of direct east and west depending on the seasons) so that all the roads on which I drove west were terrible. The sun was literally directly behind one streetlight and you couldn't tell if it was green or not. All the roads were illuminated with yellow, which made the whole drive painful.  Once I arrived, it was wonderful. We had chicken and waffles and sat around and talked for two hours after dinner was over. It was wonderful.

Anyways, having to think of difficult things to forgive could get really personal really fast. However, since not that many people have wronged me, it isn't too bad. First things that came to mind, honestly, were things that I had done and had to forgive myself for. However, that is much to cliche and honestly, just not true.

In high school, there was a time when I got into a big argument with a teacher about her going back on her word about something. When I was perplexed by her not following through on her word, she yelled at me to where I was crying, then yelled more. I was being somewhat of a busybody, and I admit that, but she should not have made promises that she did not intend to keep, nor should she have treated me that way. I remember sobbing all night. 

I spent years feeling angry about that. I still feel angry about it. Maybe I haven't forgiven her, I'm not sure. I just know that, for the most part, it doesn't eat away at me. I have no desire to talk to her again or pretend that I liked her.  Anyways, assuming that I actually have forgiven her, that would be the hardest thing to forgive, solely because of how much anger I harbored about it.

What is the thing you most wish you were great at?

Flying. Duh. 

Are we talking about things that people can actually do?

Making money. While that is true, it's also too vague. So here's a serious answer. I wish I had a better aesthetic eye. I'm not good at fashion or interior design or anything of that nature. I can't just tell that some colors would look well, or that an outfit will work, or that certain photos in certain frames will bring a room together beautifully. Luckily, I've been blessed up to this point to have friends that I can just be like, "Does this outfit work?" Or family that will help me decorate a room.  So there's my answer. I wish I was great at having a good eye for that thing. Or making money.

I've decided something about blogging every day. It lets people see how grouchy of a person I am. Usually, I only blog when I'm happy or pensive or have something to say. Blogging every day forces me to blog even when I'm sick or grouchy or cut back on caffeine and am really tired and drowsy, like today.

What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?

This past week has just been hectic. Don't feel like thinking too hard about this.

1. Graduated with an IB diploma.
2. Graduated college.
3. Found Mike.
4. Insert various awards and honors I received as an adolescent.
Ran out of things.

It's alot easier to brag about yourself in high school. You can talk about awards, writing competitions, the SAT, math competitions, music competitions, your GPA, the clubs that you are secretary or vice president in, all of those things. When you get out of college, they are less important. And as I have yet to run for any sort of office or save the world, I don't have alot on my accomplishment list. Luckily, I'm 23 so I have plenty of time left.

If you were an animal, what would you be and why?

I pretty much combined cleaning for Mike's parents with spring cleaning, so the apartment looks great! His parents should be here sometime soon. Anyways, this week has been crazy and awesome. There are alot of changes going on at work: I've moved into a cubicle, have a temporary different set of responsibilities, and there's alot of changes going on in the department that I supervise. Some are distressing, others have me jumping for joy.

Anyways: I would be an eagle or something, of course. I would definitely fly, because I've always wanted to fly. I'm not going to be some tiny bird that'll get eaten in a split second. Also, eagles have awesome long distance vision. At least hawks do, so I'm assuming it's all birds of prey. Thus, I will be an eagle.

Describe 5 strengths you have.

This is worse than thinking of weaknesses. It feels arrogant.  Oh well.

1. High school me would have said music. Here comes the bragging: when I tried out for all-state choir in Florida, I was the only student to score perfect on both the sight-reading and theory test. I scored perfect on both tests the next year as well, but they didn't let me know if I was the only perfect score. Music theory (and I include sight-reading as a part of music theory) always came very naturally to me. It's like another language and I speak it fluently.

2. Job interview answer: I am a hard worker. Everyone says this in their interview, but I actually mean it. I'm pretty sure I got promoted from a part-time minimum wage position to a full-time supervisor position with benefits and whatnot solely because of my work ethic. Also probably alot to do with luck and prayer. But I do think that, despite other weaknesses, I make up for them with work ethic. (This is useless when I'm too scared to do the work I need to do or don't have the creativity to do my work properly.)

3. Math. Lets go back to school. I'm great at math. Won competitions and other nerdy stuff. It mostly comes in handy now when cooking or doing fast calculations in my head. Makes every day tasks quicker, though it'd be possible to live without math skills.

4. Typing. I'm usually about 85 wpm. I don't know if this is THAT great or even valuable, but I'm out of options. I have a link to a typing test on the side of my blog if you are bored.  I learned my skills from instant messaging as a teenager.

5. Reaching tall things. This is how desperate I am to think of something. My long arm span and height let me reach higher in my apartment than Mike.

Anyways, Mike's parents are visiting today. There is nothing like visiting in-laws to make you realize just how messy your house is. Off to clean!

1. I don't like confrontation. This proves to be a problem as I am in a supervisor position at work.

2. I have low will power and almost no ability to wait. If I see something that I want to buy and I could wait a week and have more money to buy it or buy it now, I'll buy it now. I would have failed the marshmallow test as a child.

3. I get emotional very easily. Over the years, I have gotten better at controlling this, but it is still not as in control as I'd like.

I'm sure I have many more weaknesses, but I'm tired of analyzing myself. I'm exhausted. I wasn't feeling completely well today, and I wasn't able to eat anything besides a sleeve of saltines and a bottle of gatorade. I want to sleep and sleep and sleep. And hopefully wake up feeling back to normal. I also don't want to miss work because it's the official start of my non-permanent "promotion." Essentially, I'm filling in for someone on maternity leave for the job I'd like to have. So far, I've really enjoyed it.  I have a cubicle for the time being!

4. When playing chess, I forget to watch the opponent. I get very caught up in my moves and don't pay attention to what the other person is doing. My plan of action is so perfect that my queen is taken while I'm trying to make it happen.

That's not related to anything, but not thinking about weaknesses helps me think of some. I guess that one shows a sort of narrow-mindedness, or at least an inability to see outside my own box. And with that, I'm out.

Describe a typical day in your current life.

Judging by the past 24 hours, this would be a typical day in my life. This scenario I am describing has happened three times in the past two months, for the record. Here it goes:

Wake up at 2am to excruciating stomach pain.
Throw up.
Spend the rest of the night throwing up every thirty minutes.
Start to sort of sleep around 7am, but drag myself out of bed at 8:30am to call in sick to work and hope they don't think I'm faking. (I don't like calling in.)
Spend the rest of the day trying to recover.

It didn't help that two of these occasions caused me to miss Friday, making it look worse for me. This time was worse than the other times; I had to call Mike to take me to the doctor. Luckily, I'm fine minus the dehydration and sickness. Hopefully, this won't become a monthly occurrence for me.

Anyways, I'm nibbling on some saltines and sipping at Gatorade and water. At the doctor, they gave me a shot of something to make me sleep, so I've felt better since. I'll stop with the graphic sick posts and go back to a real day i nmy life.

7:00-Alarm goes off. Shower, do makeup, do hair, get dressed.
7:40-Make coffee, make breakfast, pack lunches for Mike and me.
8:00-Brush teeth, leave for work
8:20-Clock in at work. Start my workday. This consists of checking emails, making sure work that needs to be done is visible by my team, and work on any outstanding projects.
10:40-Eat Greek yogurt.
1:00-Clock out for lunch.
1:30-Return from lunch. Go back to work. This is pretty much exactly what I do in the morning.
3:00-Eat some carrots, an apple, or a muffin. Or a Mountain Dew if it's just one of those days.
5:00-Leave work and drive home.
5:10-Either do my daily workout or start some sort of cleaning.
6:30-Eat dinner on my own if it's a separate dinner night, or cook dinner for Mike and me.
7:00-Hang out with Mike. This sometimes involves going on walks, or watching a tv show while we play games on our computers, or sitting in the same room and playing games, or watching a movie or playing a game together, or talking or cleaning or tons of other things.
9:50-Tell Mike I'm going to bed. He comes to tuck me in. I usually get really silly about now and try to annoy him.
10:30-Actually try to sleep. And it's usually successful.
2:00am-Hopefully don't wake up sick.

Describe 10 pet peeves you have.

1. People wasting my time. This is my biggest pet peeve, by far. I don't just mean people rambling on in conversation when I don't want them to. If someone tells me to meet them there at an incredibly specific time and is then late, I get very frustrated. Don't waste my time.

2. Strangers who try to be super friendly with me and hold a conversation on the bus or something, especially when they can tell that I'm not interested. It's not that I'm antisocial; I usually like times like buses because it is my time to be quiet and calm and enjoy the world out the windows and enjoy being surrounded by people without all the nerve-wracking that comes with holding conversations with strangers. When someone strange tries to hold a conversation, I feel nervous and flustered.

3. People looking over my shoulder to see what book I'm reading. Try asking, even though that flusters me. Don't just read over my shoulder, creeper.

4. People who think it's okay to just let their baby go crazy in public. Take some control of your child. I did not choose to have a loud baby and should not be forced to listen to it. (Especially in movie theaters. And I did have that happen to me.)

5. Comcast's services and customer service. Interacting with them is a pet peeve of mine.

6. People who wear sheer leggings as pants with a t-shirt or something that is in no way long enough to reach past the edge of the buttocks area.  Get some modesty or don't wear pants. Stop pretending to be some in-between person.

7. People at Subway who are mysteriously ordering 15 subs in front of you. Here's why: If there were 15 people in front of me at the line in Subway, I would turn around and go home. If there's 3 people, I will wait in line. I have been deceived when one of those three is ordering for 15 worth of people. You should half to go to the back of the line for every sub after #5 until you learn to call ahead.

8. Cops that tailgate. Also cops that try to push their weight around. "Do you know why I pulled you over? It's because I think silver cars belong to criminals. Until you can provide proof that you aren't a criminal, I think I'm going to write you a ticket. You think that's not fair? What? You're crying? You stupid baby. Grow up or go hide in a cave and never drive again."

9. People who swim in the pool at my apartment complex, which has a sign saying RESIDENTS ONLY, then openly talk to their friends about how they don't live there. I'm going to report you.

10. Drivers in Miami.

Describe your most embarrassing moment.

I've been dreading this post since I read it on the list. Probably because embarrassing moments still feel embarrassing.  It also caused alot of reflection on my past, and I decided that there is a thin line between embarrassing and shameful. I've decided that embarrassing moments are moments which shouldn't have necessarily caused you so much grief, but they do. Shameful moments are moments where you deserve every second of regret and self-loathing. For example, the time I mentioned yesterday with my argument with Mean Facebook Girl. That was embarrassing, but it was more shameful and left me feeling very ashamed, and rightfully so. However, the time in middle school that I was standing completely still and then fell over for no good reason in front of a bunch of eighth grade boys who laughed, well, that was just embarrassing. I've also decided that I was most prone to embarrassment in middle school, because I've learned to laugh at myself for silly situations now. If I were to fall over for no good reason in front of my peers, I'd probably laugh with them.

Anyways, super-self conscious socially anxious middle school Andrea was most likely to be embarrassed by anything. Here's a really stupid example, and one that still makes me feel embarrassed to this day just from remembrance: my family and I were at a restaurant. I wanted some steak sauce so I asked for the Al's. Like the man's name, AL, not A1. I hadn't ever heard the name pronounced and just thought it was Al's. My mom and dad looked confused, and upon realizing what I meant laughed good-naturedly about their confusion and my misreading. I, however, was confused in burst into tears. My poor parents tried to console me and let me know it wasn't a big deal, but I was still mortified by my mistake. (I know I have overcome the fear of saying things wrong by now; once, around 19, I was in the car with dad and got tongue tied and referred to Willie Nelson and Nellie Wilson. Dad found this hilarious. I was unfazed by his laughter.)

Okay. So far I've been wasting time. So my most embarrassing moment, when told to you, will probably sound trivial. However, I was 12 at the time, at the peak of my social anxiety, trying very hard to be cool even though I hadn't yet acquired the wardrobe or intuition for the right clothing choices, and my older sister was immensely cooler than me. It was late in sixth grade, and there was one of those monthly awkward dances where everyone stands in the gym and listens to loud music (unless "Who let the dogs out" is playing, in which case we yelled along to the chorus.) There was a guy (this is in no way about a crush, by the way) who was my friend, and had been calling me some name, Patsy or something, as a joke all week to get under my skin, all in good nature. We'd known each other since we were eight and had briefly been my friend in third grade, before me and my best friend were marked as the class outcasts and labeled "freaks." He was standing with his friend at the dance, someone who had known me for only two years and only thought of me as the freak of the sixth grade gifted class. When I saw the kid who had been calling me names walking towards me, I pointed at him to say,  "No, stay away and don't call me any names," jokingly. It was honestly the most harmless point I'd ever given. His friend pointed at himself and made a disgusted face. He had interpreted my point as saying, "Hey, sexy, did you know I want you?" I was absolutely mortified. I left the dance and cried for about half an hour, which didn't help, because I'm sure my fleeing only reinforced his incorrect ideas. I spent the rest of the year wondering, in true socially anxious fashion, what terrible things the rest of the class was thinking about my crush on this kid. Luckily, he transferred to a different school for seventh grade and I was spared being around him for long.

I know that story probably doesn't sound that big of a deal to you, but I was 22 years old before I shared it with anyone. I didn't even share it with my middle school BFF, Stephanie. I was so mortally embarrassed that I didn't even know how to talk about it to friends. I'm pretty sure I only told it to Jess and Leah once, and even then it was so rushed that I don't think they really understood what was going on. I wish I could give some courage to my poor 12-year-old self; when he made a disgusted face, I'd make a disgusted face right back, march over and explain to him exactly what my point meant and that I'd never consider someone with his chin.

This post has been too long, so I won't update on my life. I'll end it here and go back to hanging with Jess while she is in town.

List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.

I somewhat believe that everyone you meet ever has some sort of influence on you. I tried to only list immediate family members so that I'd have a chance to list non-family members. Either way, here goes!

1. Mom. Obviously, your parents have the biggest role in shaping you as a person. Aside from the obvious physical genetic influences from my mother, I also inherited her math ability. This was made better by her encouragement. Additionally, my mom encouraged me to stay in piano and grounded me so that I did well in school (Note: I was only ever grounded when I had avoided homework to the point where my grade dropped below a 75%.) As I get older, I notice more and more of my mom's mannerisms. Sometimes I'll say something or react to a situation and I'll realize that I'm handling it just like her. Alternatively, sometimes I'll wish I did react more like her. For example, when I get crazy emotional.

2. Dad. My dad, like my mom, always encouraged me to be the best I could. Additionally, he'd be more obviously proud of my achievements or good work, which further motivated me to achieve. (He also was probably part of the decision to ground me, but I still for some reason remember it as Mom grounding me every time. Probably because I was more intimidated by Dad. He's really tall.) My dad instilled a strong sense of respect in me: respect for my parents, for my elders, and for other authority figures in my life. I inherited less of his mannerisms than of my mom, but I think that's probably because I don't have the confidence to be as funny as he is.He and Mom both also gave me my work ethic. I don't really believe in personal "sick" days or working below my potential because of them. This has proven very helpful in the professional world.

3. Mr. Manning. He was my middle school math teacher. He was an exceptional teacher, and I chose math teaching as my profession because of him.

4. Ms. Donna. She was my piano teacher. I often described her as a second mom in my life. She helped keep me on track in high school and gave me opportunities to teach piano and expand my abilities.

5. Jeff C. My boyfriend senior year of high school and class valedictorian. I'm pretty sure dating him is why I graduated with such great grades senior year. Studying with him really helped. He also helped me realize how intelligent I actually am with or without his help.

6.Trish. My older sister. She's the person that made me first realize how to dress nicely and apply makeup. She was an example for me of how to interact socially and not be a complete loser. I always wanted to be just like her in middle school. She helped me learn how to come out of my shell.

7. Judy. My roomate for 3/4 years of college. She helped me start working out regularly and be a more "green" person. I recycle more and am more conscious of water usage and how much meat from terrible places I am eating regularly. I try to make an effort to combat this because of her.

8. Angry girl on Facebook. Once, someone posted a status and a terribly idiotic, rude, mean girl posted an ignorant response in reply. Leah's husband posted a calm response against hers, and her response was incredibly rude and belittling and idiotic and ignorant. So I posted. I don't know what I expected, but she of course attacked back. Instead of stepping down, I retaliated. Usually, I think I have a sort of verbal filter, but this time I let loose. I used my intelligence and words to try to tear her down and hurt her deep inside. A few posts in, I apologized and removed all of my posts. Luckily, I don't think anything I said actually reached her, as her responses were as ignorant and angry as ever, and she actually posted my apology as her status to gloat. But I felt so ashamed for weeks after that event. Because of that one girl, I am always careful about what I say and I never allow myself to be as mean or hateful as I know I could. The shame from that post keeps me from trying to tear others down with my words.

9. I'm running out of people and want to go to bed. My other roomate freshman year, not Judy. We did not get along and she was very passive aggressive. This taught me two things. Firstly, even if you try to handle things the mature way, that doesn't mean everyone else will. Some people are just immature. I was actually pretty immature as the year went on, too, so I'm not innocent, but I still believe I was at first. Secondly, some people will just never get along and you have to deal with it. It's life. I am better at dealing with awkward situations with people because of her.

10. Mike. My husband has helped calm me down and focus on our life together. I am no longer frantic and alone, I am peaceful and whole and love him very much. He also keeps me focused on working out, eating healthy, provides me with a good life, and helps me manage money better.

I know I didn't mention Jess and Leah. It's because I can't really pinpoint how they influenced me because they are so closely involved in my life. They were both over tonight and we all had our husbands and were on some big triple date thing. I cooked burgers and baked potatoes and we played a game called Small World that is some mix between Risk and Magic the Gathering. We tried swimming earlier in the day but the water was too cold. Goodnight!

What are 5 passions you have?

1. Cooking. It started as just baking desserts from scratch as a teenager. Now, I enjoy cooking full meals and experimenting with new dishes and recipes.

2. Blogging. As obvious by this blog.

3. Music. This may sound vague. I used to sing in numerous choirs and spent years on a piano.

I don't think I have anymore legitimate passions. At this point, I think they could be better described as interests. Here's some interests:

4. Pizza.

5. Sephora makeup.

I'm exhausted right now. I almost forgot this blog. My best friend Jess, her husband, and her 9 month old baby are both in town. Last night, Leah came over. I am lucky enough to have two best friends that get along with each other remarkably well. So well that I suspect they may push me out of the picture entirely... Anyways, we were all up till midnight talking and all up before 8 the next morning (except Mike, who can sleep in till as late as you'll let him.)  We had a day full of shopping and board games. I also let my diet completely go awry. I don't even want to try to count up my calories for the day. I was mostly out of it the entire day until I had some Mountain Dew in the afternoon. I need to give up the caffeine. Anyways, I'm completely exhausted, Jess and the baby are already asleep, and I need to be in bed. By the way, Graham, the baby, is absolutely adorable!

What is your dream job, and why?

I'm writing this on my lunch break at work. I come in early too much throughout the week, so I end up with an extended lunch by Friday to make up for the time.

My dream job? I don't know. I don't think anyone ever really knows.  I thought for years and years that I wanted to be a teacher. However, I found teaching stressful. I am now in a supervisor position for a small department in a business, and I absolutely love it. While I'm not sure that I'd describe it as my dream job, I certainly think I could find my dream job in business.

The alternative would be a chef. I love cooking. I love baking. I have since I was a kid. However, it's one of those things where I'm not quite creative enough and a little too paranoid about other people's opinions to truly excel. So, I guess while chef is a nice thought in my mind, it is not a practical dream job. Also, I think it is hard to find a decent job as a chef. They don't seem to be in high demand. Business management seems more practical.

Kate brought in home-made wontons to work, so I've been terrible about my calories. I'm trying to count them, but it's all a rough estimate, and who really knows. However, I am doing day three of week four of C25k today. I'm pretty sure that I'll repeat this week.

Much better news: Jess is visiting tonight!!!! Jess and Brandon and their baby Graham. I'm  so excited.

What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?

I'm afraid I'll feel like an idiot answering this because, honestly, my life hasn't been that bad. Compare me to people who lived in slavery, or still do today, people who have been tortured or murdered, people who wandered the earth because they did not belong, and you will find that my life has been remarkably easy. I've never wanted for food or felt unsafe, and I've always had an opportunity to educate and better myself. Furthermore, my parents went beyond this to make sure my life was happy; I could have the clothes and technology I wanted, I was given a car and a cell phone, and I was given help with bills throughout college.

So don't expect some intense answer to this question that will leave you startled or shocked.

A few things come to mind: living with a terribly passive aggressive roomate for a year, surviving middle school, trying to find a job, struggling with a WoW addiction, struggling with social anxiety and self-esteem. But honestly, as stupid as this sounds, the hardest thing I've ever had to do is lose someone I care about--and I don't mean passing away, I mean a person who breaks off all ties of friendship and connections.

This has happened three times that I can really recall that left me shattered on the inside. The second was, by far, the worst.  The first was a breakup--after years of being great friends, me and a guy decided to try dating. After three months of emotional whirlwinds, he called off the relationship and, to make the breakup easier, any chance of a friendship. I was devastated, but still holding myself together.

What followed was a summer where I reconnected with an old friend from high school. Though we weren't officially "In a relationship," we were as good as dating from my point of view. Near the end of the summer, he told me that we wouldn't continue anything when I left to college, and what's more, he didn't really see a point in continuing a friendship with me; I wasn't really worth it to him.  This left me crushed. I remember crying at my parent's kitchen table--me, who usually hid all of my personal matters from my parents, crying so deeply that it was beyond sobbing, tears pouring down my face which was held so still that I could barely talk--just feeling so worthless and crushed and empty inside. That same day, a mutual friend of ours got into an argument with me which led to the end of our friendship as well. 
I went back to college broken inside. Leah can attest to some of the nights I spent on her floor trying to find the words to describe what my heart felt like. This was also the year I fell deeply into World of Warcraft, only to resurface 11 months later a different person.

It took me about a year to heal enough to look back on that summer without wincing internally. I realize now, in retrospect, that I wasn't blameless in the situation. I had changed alot that year, and wasn't what he was looking for in a girlfriend. Additionally, I don't think he was being as cruel as I thought in calling off the friendship. Looking back, I think he knew that I'd keep clinging to him unless he cut things cleanly and that I'd need to be hurt to consider it a clean cut. I don't think he realized just how far out of control he would send me. He was the end to a long line of failed relationships and broken friendships, and the final straw that sent me over the edge.

The day that he called off our friendship was the hardest thing I've ever experienced. It was worse than the year of WoW that followed, or the breakups that preceded it.  The entire day was spent in pain and regret and hurt that was so deep that I can't really do it justice through words, though anyone who has been through anything similar will certainly know what I mean.  So, I haven't experienced any severe trauma, pain, damage, or something you would consider a "real" problem. But I've found myself at rock bottom with a broken heart and no idea how to rise back up. It sounds trivial, I know. But it certainly did not feel that way.

What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?

1. All the people visiting Tallahassee! These include Leah's awesome sister Jenny, my BFF from not Tallahassee, Jess, and Mike's parents. Yay for people visiting! This is also good because I've decided that I'm not visiting anyone who hasn't visited me in Tallahassee ever. This includes quite alot of my friends.

2. Work. It's a love/hate thing, but I really enjoy my job. Things are going well, I like what I do (it's a boring business desk job and doesn't sound fun to explain, but someone has to enjoy it!) and the people with whom I work, at least most of the time.

3. Cooking healthy foods and working out. There's something nice about tracking calories. I have a love/hate thing with C25k, and I have been enjoying experimenting with recipes and discovering new, tasty variations of foods.

4. My family. This involves my husband and my cat. My husband, Mike, is the most wonderful man I've ever met. He is kind, caring, and strong. He balances out my crazy just perfectly. I'm grateful for him every day and glad to know him.  Max is the most wonderful cat I've ever met. He is pretty crazy, but I can't stop loving him for that.

5. Weekly dinners with Leah and Kate and Mike and Daniel. It brings joy to my life to eat yummy foods with my friends weekly.

Overall, I'm very content with my life at the moment. If I looked at where I was two years ago, my life was entirely falling apart. All of the pieces have somehow come together, and I find myself living the life I always dreamed about. Minus counting calories. In my dreams, I ate nothing but pizza.

List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.

Okay, here goes!

1. I know you think that straight cut bangs help your face, and they do, but so will side cut bangs. Please make the switch before 2007. Same with the center part. Go back to the side part. Don't try dyeing your hair lighter either, because it doesn't work.
2. Go research Social Anxiety Disorder. Convince Mom and Dad to take you to a therapist.
3. You don't have Crohn's disease. You eat too much pizza and not enough whole wheat/vegetables. Seriously, change your diet.
4. Stop making fun of the kids that play WoW. You will regret it one day....
5. You're not going to marry anyone you  know from high school.. or from Volusia County at all, for that matter. I know you think that you are in a super serious relationship.  I know that you also think you will at the very least be great friends with these people forever. Surprisingly, you won't. You get married to someone completely new.
6. Consider not being a math teacher. Or a musician. Have you ever thought about business? You would probably really enjoy it.
7. Appreciate not having to pay bills. You are seriously taking that for granted. Thank Mom and Dad, and give them big hugs.
8. You're going to go through some dark, lonely times. Your world is going to collapse. And when you think you've hit rock bottom, it's going to get worse. But you do have good friends (not from high school) who stick through it with you and love you despite your negligence, and family who thinks the world of you even if nobody else does. I promise that you will make it through.
9. Don't get pet fish. They are just... not necessary.
10. Please wear more sunscreen. I know you thought for awhile that sunburns were cool and tans and freckles, but you are pale and prone to skin cancer. Also, the sun ages your skin and I'm really trying to counteract that currently.



Sorry for the late post. This was also rushed, since I'm writing it over breakfast. Last night, I had dinner with Leah and Leah's sister, who is in town. Leah is moving to Virginia later in the year, as I found out two nights ago. It's a tragedy beyond words that her husband got accepted into a PhD program there. Anyways, I got home too late to post, so I'm writing this over breakfast and didn't have alot of time to think about it. Also, I didn't want to get too specific with my 16-year old self because I don't want to discourage her from making the mistakes that will lead her to Mike eventually. I just want her to know it gets better.

Describe your relationship with your parents.

I have a really good relationship with my parents. They love me and I love them, and also I like them and they like me. We aren't a very clingy family, or super involved. We talk maybe once or twice a week on the phone. I visit as frequently as I can, which has become every few months what with having a job, a husband, and not living in a dorm that kicks me out for winter, spring, and summer holiday. I'll tell them pretty much anything about my life, and they are proud of me, my accomplishments, and my life. I was also a people-pleaser as a child and hated when people yelled at me, so I strived to be good at school and not get in trouble (most of the time. I can remember some instense arguments at my worst.) In high school, I was more of a brat at times, and we did have some rough spots, but only the occasional argument. Despite whatever happened, I never once doubted that my parents loved me and were overall proud of me, if disappointed at certain mistakes I did make from time to time. Also, things got a little tense during wedding planning, which was mostly me getting spazzy or emotional and my parents not babying me. They are no-nonsense kind of people; if I'm about to cry for some stupid reason, they're going to point it out. I like that about them.

Today was week 4 of C25k and day one of using my heart monitor. The heart monitor was AWESOME! It showed me where my heart rate was the whole time and counted up my calories. Week 4 of C25k was less awesome. The jump from week 3 to week 4 is pretty much insane. However, the rest of week 4 can only be easier after this!

Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.

This one won't be too detailed because I have a very long blog about this way back in the beginning stages of blogging.

1. Velociraptors. Why? I watched Jurassic Park. They were crazy. You can't hide from them like from T-Rex, and they can open doors. They're smart, fast, have razor-sharp claws, and are one of the ultimate enemies. Also, I was a very scared and irrational child. I spent most nights afraid that one would show up in my room at night. I was afraid of velociraptors for about 6 years. Hardcore afraid, I mean, like keep me up at night. I'm still wary of them, but I'm not losing sleep over it anymore.

2. Drains. No idea where this came from. I've always avoided drains, even as a kid. I don't think I like that it's a tiny, dark, creepy enclosure where grossness and gunk is prone to build up and I have no idea whats inside. Just seems like a breeding ground for evil. Or velociraptors.

3. Dying. Because I'm human, and I think this is one of the oldest, most universal human fears. Read Gilgamesh sometime. We're all afraid of dying, I think, at least to some extent. But it's not in a bad, irrational way. More like how you're always afraid to start school after the summer. You know that you're schedule will change, and you know it'll make sense when it starts, but since it's your last day of summer, you are too busy thinking that you'll miss summer and your new clothes aren't cool enough and you might not be in the same classes as your friends. You're scared and nervous, but expectant, I guess. Maybe that analogy is weak, but I want to get back to other stuff.

This weekend has been awesome! I did alot of baking. I've made an oatmeal apple carrot muffin recipe. Each muffin is full of good stuff and not too many calories. I've frozen some for future dates. I also made whole wheat waffles, also frozen for future breakfasts. Last night for dinner, I made chicken enchiladas and spanish rice, both from "scratch" (I mean, I didn't grow the rice or make tortillas.) Today, I had some extra chicken and coca-cola, so I made some bbq sauce and had bbq pulled chicken sandwiches. I love when I'm in cooking moods!

I also bought a heart rate monitor today, to see if the Couch to 5k program is working as a legitimate method of cardiovascular exercise. I'm going to go set that up now.

List 20 Random Facts about Yourself.

1. Although your wingspan is supposed to be the same as your height, mine isn't. I'm 5'8" tall, but my wingspan is 6", a good four inches longer. This is probably because:
2. My hands look almost identical to my mother's save one thing: the length of our fingers. We have the same sized palms, the same fingernails, but my fingers are all a few centimeters longer. Our feet are also almost the exact same shape and size, and we're really close to the same height.
3. I started taking piano lessons when I was four. I even taught for two years as a teenager. This is possibly the reason for my elongated fingers.
4. I stopped playing piano when I didn't get into FSU's music school. I haven't really ever started again. As much as I loved piano, singing was my real passion.
5. I don't have the patience to watch movies anymore. They feel so long. I'd rather watch TV shows, because it's split into episodes.
6. I wish I read more, but I don't like serious or educational books. I have few genres I enjoy reading: period piece classic romance novels (Pride and Prejudice, Jane Eyre,) distopian society novels (1984, The Giver, Anthem) and children's books (Anne of Green Gables, The Chronicles of Narnia, Little House on the Prairie.)
7. I like my freckles. Once, in Sephora, a woman was showing us concealer or primer or something that was tinted so as to remove freckles. She said this while looking at me. I had no interest in that product and was slightly offended by her assumption.
8. I react violently to anesthesia. I'm sure there's a post about waking up from my tonsillectomy in my blog history. I woke up thrashing, yelling, and fighting. Another time, I woke up yelling for my mom and wanting to know the time.
9. I'm taller than my husband by 1/2 to 1 inch. I always thought, as a teenager, that this would bother me. It doesn't. I love him exactly how he is. Although I do realize that the first week we dated, I had eluded myself into believing that he was a few inches taller. New love does strange things to our minds.
10. I can't paint anything without getting it on my clothes. Walls, pictures, w/e. Even as a child. If there is a paintbrush in my hand, there will be paint on me.
11. I have two piercings in each ear and no tattoos.
12. Fleas like me more than normal people. Bug bites on my feet also take longer to heal than normal people. My feet still have spots that look like sores from months ago.
13. I have dysplastic nevus syndrome. I was born with it, apparently because I had moles on my skin as a tiny baby. I'm at higher risk of skin cancer. Other than that, it doesn't have a huge effect.
14. I have a Bachelor of Science in Secondary Mathematics Education from Florida State University. (My diploma is on the wall in this room and I'm running out of facts.)
15. When I married Mike, I inherited a cat named Max. He and I have a love/hate relationship. Maybe all cats are that way.
16. I have a younger brother and an older sister.
17. I saw the musical Wicked in New York on Broadway.
18. I've been to Canada and Mexico.
19. I am always behind the times on joining new sites. I still don't have Twitter, Pinterest, or Google Plus. I stayed on Myspace till 2008 or so, holding off on getting Facebook. I only have this blog because a class assigned in to me.
20. When I was little, I collected keychains. They all hung on a bulletin board in my room.

Things to write about.

This morning, I woke up an hour early. Since time change is this weekend, I figured I might as well get up. In my extra hour, I browsed Facebook. This led me to a Pinterest picture. Since I still do not have a Pinterest, I am not very good at navigating it, but I somehow ended up on a blog post. This post gave an idea: 30 days of blogging by answering the following questions.

THE LIST:

1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
14. Describe 5 strengths you have.
15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people misundertand most about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.

I also, by some random clicking within the blog, found out that the blogger was Mormon because of a reference in another blog to Heavenly Father. As far as I know, no other denomination uses this terminology. I like Mormons, though, and their fondness of blogging. Anyways, I'm going to do this list. So be prepared to see lots of blogs about me answering random questions.

I've been doing the Couch to 5k plan, like so many people I know. I tried it before, but I only had a treadmill and manually adjusted the speed based on looking at a list of the program. It was terrible. Thanks to a fellow blogger's blog, I now know about the iPhone app and have been running/walking around outside for workouts. It's been lovely! I love knowing that I've got planned time to spend outdoors. I've also decided that I'll run a marathon someday.

Anyways, that's all for now. Mike and I are going to watch some cartoons together, so I'll start my 30 days of posts tomorrow!

Weekly Dinners

We started a thing regularly. I guess Kate started it, Kate and Leah, and I was invited. It most likely wasn't my idea because I shun social interactions at first suggestion. Anyways, we have a rotating dinner. One week it's a Kate's, one week at Leah and Daniel's, and one week at my and Mike's place. It's also nice because it is in no way a potluck. One night a week for two weeks, you know that dinner is provided and you don't need to put forward effort, and for one night on a third week, you get cook dinner for your friends. It's a good system.

Leah and Kate were both bridesmaids in my wedding. They are two of my closest friends. If Jess and Jordan, my other two bridesmaids, lived up here, they would most definitely be involve as well, although I think another convenient part of our system is that it only involves 5 people in 3 households. The more people that are involved, the harder it becomes on your week to cook.  Also, Jess has a baby and I don't know how to cook for babies. 

March 2 was my 23 birthday, so I was happy to cook the evening before. I cooked some of my favorites: grilled hamburgers, fries, sauteed asparagus (not a favorite, but needed something healthy) and for dessert, instead of the traditional birthday cake, we had strawberry shortcake! I love strawberry shortcake. Unfortunately, I didn't make the angel food cake and bought it pre-made from Publix, but I at least cut up the strawberries and whatnot myself? The sale on strawberries was what inspired this dessert, actually. Anyways, dinner commenced at 7, as usual

Nothing was different than normal, but at some point during that dinner I came to a realization as I watched these people: Mike, my husband, being his usual quiet yet silly self in front of company; it goes without saying that I love him most dearly. Leah, one of my best friends, trying to tell a story, but (nicely) punching Daniel as he says, "Mhmm," and, "That's right, girlfriend," with sass to all of her comments, much to our amusement. Kate, laughing with me at the crazy antics as we high-five over some well-timed comment from one of us. And as we are all laughing heartily, I look around the table and think about how much I love these people; my closest friends, or what I'd almost call my family.

Don't think I am replacing my blood family with these people. My parents and siblings understand me in a way that nobody else ever could, and I love them unconditionally. My in-laws also are very close to me, in ways that I don't think could be easily severed. But, with all of the people closest to me by blood or marriage living hours away, I think Mike and I still crave some sort of familial, social interaction outside of ourselves, and that's where friends come in.

As I looked around the table, I took a mental snapshot. I will never forget that instant, looking around at all the mid-laughter faces, and thinking--well, there aren't really words that I thought, so I guess a better way to put it is feeling-that I was incredibly thankful to spend my birthday, so far away from all the people that love me unconditionally, with friends for whom I'm grateful everyday, whom I love most dearly. Even without my parents, siblings, or in-laws, I have a family in Tallahassee.